if you asked me to think about the time i felt most free in my whole life. i could tell you the exact moment.
i was 16 and had left my house to go for a run. i even remember the exact street i was running down. in my life at that time, i was not so free. i felt very stuck, very fearful, and unsure of who i was. i was holding on to an unhealthy relationship and searching for the courage to walk away. well as i started running. i remember feeling my heart want to burst out of chest, in the best way possible. in that moment i felt the most confidence i had ever felt. i knew for a fact that what God was calling me to good stuff, that He was for me. that every promise he made was in fact being kept.
those over the moon, set your heart on fire moments don't happen too often. but this week i left to go for a run and had that same excitement i had over 6 years ago. you see, the thing i struggle with the most being a human, is not being able to predict the future. i love planning: my days, my weeks, my years...my whole dang life. but i have been learning this year, sometimes its okay to only know what im doing for the next hour. running this week, i felt peace about my lack of knowledge, about simply thinking about putting one foot in front of the other. since God makes everything exactly how He wants it, im sure that He made a planner. but he also made me dependent on Him.
you see running is more than a way to exercise. its a way to calm my soul. release fears, and talk with God. or sometimes vent. depends on the day. but either way, its freedom to me.
