If you know me then you know...

If you have spent time with me in the year two-thousand-thirteen then you probably know this is my year of prayer. 

I mean every year is, but this year changed the way I pray.

I've learned how hilarious God is, and have decided to start sharing the funny and also the serious ways God shows up in my life.  This is not me saying that God has answered every prayer I pray with YES.  I have become accustomed  to lots of no's and even more of "this is better", however in general I have found that God loves to make me laugh, and surprise me with little blessings. He also has showed me that he truly is in control of everything. I have a strong feeling he definitely has been doing this for all of eternity but I just started noticing!  Maybe these silly anectdotes will encourage you to pray for all those little things you may have thought didn't matter, maybe instead you will begin to think I'm a crazy person. Either way I'm excited about this, and God, so I can't help but share.

1. God is in control of parking meters:

This week I was on my way to a grown up networking party. I didn't look at the address before showing up at a hotel, and miraculously I ended up at the right hotel, but at the wrong tower, typical San Diego hotel, two towers. So I leave the first parking lot, to go to the next, annoyed because now I'm going to have to pay twice for parking.  So I am at the pay machine and I pray that I don't have to pay for parking, the meter reads zero and the gate goes up. Well thanks God, that was kinda awesome. 

stuff.

I think I like the feeling of being stressed,

I find myself looking at my planner and adding "stuff" just to make myself feel more accomplished.

Looking at the thing just stresses me out more, but its kind of like a jolt of adrenaline. 

I look at a "slow month" and feel unsatisfied.

WHY

I sound like a crazy person.

Who measures their worth by appointments, and events and stuff.

humans. people. me, mostly.

What is God concerned with?

Not my meeting schedule. Thats for sure.

A wise lady once shared with me the way i should look at the "things" in my life.

She told me if the activity I am doing (work, volunteer, clubs ect) is not directly going to benefit my goals for the future, and also bring joy to my life, then I should drop it.

I actually quit my previous job the day after she shared that with me.

#whoops 

So why do I keep doing everything, in an attempt to spin 10 plates perfectly?

What prize is there for being the most overcommitted 21 year old?

No prize! and the reality is I am no where near wining.

There is a huge list of those crazier than me, I know this because I am surrounded by them in my classes. 

So where do I go from here?

R E S T

This week my goal is to rest.

Spend time sitting, with Jesus, soaking in his goodness and maybe chatting with him about what he wants me to cut from my crazy planner. I'm sure he has some good ideas. 

Always does!

N e w Y o r k C i t y

N e w Y o r k

This last week I had the fabulous opportunity to visit NYC. My friend Bri and I helped a professor of ours coordinate this trip, everything from the rooms and flights to itineraries. 

Right now, I am sitting still for the first time in five days, flying over the country. 

That being said it's time for some reflection on what I have learned this weekend. 

1 . It takes a long time do anything. Here in Cali, we want to go to the store we drive a mile and grab our food. In new york, it means walking blocks or taking the subway and only getting enough food that you can carry it by yourself back home.  I would make the assumption Costco isn’t a big hit in new york city,

2.  Less is more.  City folks have mastered the art of living with less, less space, less storage. I complain about my apartment being small when I couldn’t afford a room the size of my closet in NYC.

3.  New Yorkers are very kind people, despite the way they are sometimes portrayed in tv and movies. I cant remember how many people I asked for directions, about 50 likely. And all of them were more than Happy to help a lost girl find her way in the city.

4. Central park is not a park but a city in itself. I could have spent 2 days wandering in the beauty. 

5. There is such thing as grade B restaurants. And people eat at them. I don’t think I'm ready for that venture quite yet. 

6. Art is everywhere and they have a good appreciation for it. There are local artists paintings in stores, buildings, street corners. There are performers on every block and every subway train. They are phenomenal too, and willing to go hungry in order to pursue their passion.

7. The pizza really is as good as they say.

8. It truly is the city that never sleeps. If you are hungry in SD after 9, you have Jack in the box. In New York, dinner is just beginning.

While I'm not sure I could ever make a life for myself out there, I love slow mornings and long runs way to much. New york did find a way into my heart. The excitement of walking down 5^th avenue to times square is incomparable. The amount of history in such a small space is unlike any city in north America.  I know one thing for sure, I will be back. xoxo

Follower-Ship

I remember earlier this summer when I was at Young Life camp, I thought to myself how I would make a great YoungLife wife. I love the lifestyle, I would be great at supporting a guy living out Gods call for his life through high school ministry and I would love to raise my future children in this kind of a household. God must have been giggling at me as I dreamed up my silly little future plans. I picture him thinking: "oh girl, you don't even know what I have planned" 

Push comes to shove and my perfect little plan that I had for my personal life, staying at the hotel, working hard, getting promoted, being successful in this industry I have studied for the last four years was coming to halt. What once has been fun and desirable now felt like an exhausting and soul sucking future. I still continued to work hard because this was the easiest way for me to support myself when I graduate in 8 months. (yikes) However I felt God beginning to tug at my heart strings. It was a slow pull. First I started wondering how I could find a career that would allow me to continue volunteering. Thinking about what position in a hotel would let me have weeks off for summer camp, nights off for club and Bible study. That's a joke. I knew I wasn't suppose to give up this part of my life though. 

When I am with my high schoolers, or with my leadership team, or praying about those things, I feel that my life is purposeful. That I am living inside of Gods desire for my life. That being said I am sure you can guess where God has led me. Sometime in between Summer Camp, and The beginning of school God put a different future in my heart so strongly that I couldn't bear to run away this time. I had always thought that in order to lead ministry one has to be perfect and poised, well spoken and outgoing. I am none of those things, I am goofy, my words never come out right and my shyness always beats out the outgoing bursts within me.  What God is teaching me now however, is that God hasn't called me to a leadership role, he has called me to a follower-ship role. A role where I am going to have to fully devote my life to following Christ and through that, there's a chance others may want to follow God too. I can't think of a time in my life where I have been more terrified and excited at the same time I have no idea what the future looks like now, but I cant wait to see how God writes this story. 

Backwards.

Seldom does one think, in the middle of a huge moment, that it will define your life.

Those periods of your life that grow you, shape you and effect the way you look at life often are noticed after the fact. 

I just had one of those moments, well a series of moments.

This summer changed me.

The way I think about prayer, and life and about trust.

Earlier this year I began to shift my prayer life, taking God out of the small, well kept box I placed him and allowed Him to be big, powerful and real in my life.

I came to God with requests, fears and praises, and watched him reveal just how good He truly is. God has provided a dream job in my future, blessed friendships and fun memories,

My job as a front desk agent taught me to stand up for myself, gave me a backbone.

I learned how to not take rude remarks personally, and I learned to have enough confidence to stand up for myself and solve the issue on my own.

I moved into an apartment with just one roommate, my best friend Bri. The idea of a quiet house was a joke that last two years and now peacefulness overflows from those small walls.

I spent a week in Arizona at Lost Canyon with 12 of the most incredible girls. We cried, laughed and grew in countless ways. God taught me so much through those girls. 

I let down some serious walls that I had hid behind for many years. Finally letting myself trust others fully and be vulnerable with how I feel.

I never would have guessed back in May that God would use the most ordinary summer to develope me in such huge ways, but I am thankful that my God is extraordinary enough to use monotony to change my life. 

Juggling.

I remember the summer days of biking to the ice cream store.
Laying out at the pool and jumping off the diving board.
House boating trips and lots of sleepovers.
it seems like just yesterday.
Now nearly two months of my last summer ever has flew by.
This hit my yesterday.
I havent had time to enjoy even a little bit of it.
Oh the tragedy that is an overcommitted student.
I am seeing more and more how in every part of my life I am spread to thin.
In my perfect world I would work 2 days a week.
Go for long long runs.
Spend time with my younglife students.
Go surfing a couple times a week.
Invest in my sumer classes.
Invest in relationships.
Instead, I am working.
40+ hours a week.
For What?
This week, I am feeling more overwhelmed than I have in months.
Perhaps all year.
Someone told me yesterday that If you can do everything in your life with out clinging to Jesus then you are doing something wrong.
Well here it is. I can't do this without God.
I am being pushed to commit every ounce of my self to trusting God.
"When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I"
God is the only one who can multiply hours.
&& Encourage my heart.
My prayer is that God would continue to give me Joy, when I feel chaotic.
That he would teach me to rest.
Allow me time to invest in others.
Find new meaning in tedious tasks.
&& Continue pushing me towards a Him.

When God Makes Me Laugh

I've already mentioned before how hilarious God is right?
well this week is no different.
this week, I prayed for humility.
just as a side note, when you pray for a character trait, God doesn't magically have it appear, he tends to give you a chance to develop it. I used to pray for patience a lot, and God gave me SO many opportunities to be patient, that half of me wanted to never pray for patience again, and the other half thought I may actually be patience. It was a tie.
anyways, This time I prayed for humility.
I have been working for about 6 weeks now and am starting to understand my job- FINALLY!
I didn't want to get over confident because that prevents learning.
I also wanted to be sure that I was loving on others and acting in full respect and sometimes too much knowledge puffs up a persons, my, head.
That all being said I prayed for humility and the opportunity to keep learning and loving on my new work friends, without any pride getting in the way.
The next day, for the first time in my career history, I didn't double check my schedule time.
The one time I didn't double check, I thought I was scheduled at 3:30.
I was actually scheduled for 3.
30 minutes is a HUGE error in hotels.
All that confidence and knowledge I was feeling,
definitely just got knocked down a level.
Thanks for the humility God, much appreciated.
Here I go back to neurotically checking the schedule every day.
God really is funny.

prayer.

Prayer is powerful.
I am so confident that God hears my prayers, and yours.
Yet still each time a large prayer is answered, I still am incredible amazed.
or maybe its more like in awe of how good God is.
This very morning I was praying for a way to see my family.
I work a lot, and there is little time for days off in a hotel.
my exact words this morning were
"Lord I pray you would allow for me to see my family next week, I pray for consecutive days off work"
That same afternoon my manager comes up and asks me "allie, do you want consecutive days off next week"
Is this real life?
Sometimes I think God is just looking down on me and giggling as I am continually amazed at his goodness.
Of course God can give me days off,
He is God over my work, over all managers over everything.
This isn't the first time God has answered my prayers using the exact same words I prayed them in.
God is good.
He is silly.
He is powerful.
I am especially thankful today.
San Fran here I come!

How Can I be of Service?

I started my new job as a front desk agent at a hotel this month.

Boy is it hard.

Next time you check into a hotel, have a little grace on those poor agents, because there is so many little details I had no idea about! But the technical stuff aside.
 I absolutely love it.

I love meeting new friends every five minutes.

I love remembering a guests name and surprising them with a specific question about their day or an activity they did.

I love getting to upgrade a happy couple, a birthday girl.

But what I love most is the impact a smile and a listening ear can have on someones day.

Dont get me wrong, its not all puppies and rainbows over here.

every. single. complaint. from any guest, any room, any time.

They ALL come to the front desk.

Its a hard eight hours of listening to people complain.

I am 100% positive I couldn't do this Job without Jesus.

What encourages me through the long shifts and the endless complaints is knowing this.

Each person I interact with is an opportunity to love them, to show them compassion, listen to them and act with a positive attitidude that only can come from knowing Jesus.

I know that God doesnt need me to do great work, and its humbling to be reminded how little I am needed. 

But My prayer today  is that he might choose too use me.

good better best

tis the season...for finals.

Although for the average student, finals week is well, finals week.

For a Hospitality student, we get three weeks.

1. For all the Projects due.

2. For all the tests in HTM classes.

3. For all the business class finals during normal SDSU finals week.

This makes nearly a month of cramming, freaking out, procrastinating and oh yeah, studying.

Have I convinced you to switch majors yet?

Anyways, as you may guess tis also the season for to-do lists

color coded, highlighted and organized lists. 

its a matter of survival really. 

What have I learned from all this madness?

It is OKAY to say no. 

I am an eager human being, ready to take on every new adventure.

but rather than juggle 37 commitments with grace and perfection.

I tend to drop a few or many.

a dear friend of mine told me the other day,

"say no to what is good so you can say yes to what is better"

isn't that the truth.

there are lots of good things, but there are also a whole lot of better things.

better commitments, better opportunities, better relationships.

it's scary to let go of something good,
but be reminded that if your not totally confident about a choice,
 there is most likely a better option for you, if you wait a little and work a lot. 

in fifth grade, my teacher had a quilt on the wall that said:

"good better best, never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is your best."
That has been a constant reminder in my life to always look forward.

thats all folks.

worth.

There are those days where everything just seems to go wrong.

I had one of those days last week.

I could go into detail about why my day was lame, but who cares?

Its over, and I was reminded of some good stuff.

So really, the bad day, is good.

Its really easy as a student, well more like as a human, to be hard on myself.

To see my failures as HUGE, and let them weigh me down.

The bad tests, the failed projects, the embarrassing moments.

You know what keeps me sane?

Knowing My worth is not in what I do, what others think of me, or even who I am.

My worth is in ONE thing.

Jesus.

That is utterly, completely and totally freeing. 

It doesn't matter what my grades are, how awesome of internships I get, how popular I am, how many events I plan, where I live, how I look...the list goes on.

I am a daughter of the MOST HIGH, ALMIGHTY KING.

sooo come at me bro.

But really this is good stuff.

What helps me get through each day is knowing that my purpose is SO MUCH GREATER than my 'titles' of student, employee, member of student org xyz, ect.

My purpose is to know God and to make Him Known.

Who better to cling to than our Perfect, Constant and Loving God?

Yeah, no one better.

So this week, and every week, every day, and every minute I am clinging to Jesus.

&&

Remembering, it's not who I am, but WHOSE I am.

friendship

To belong and to be known are two of the most important things we as humans need.

I have found two traits in friendship that I value very much, almost above anything. 

Besides trust of course.

These aren't your typical traits, I have never put them on my lists (which I make a lot of)

Or really given much thought to them, until now.

Ready?

Inclusive and Inquisitive.

Yeah yeah yeah, I like the alliteration, but thats not why I picked the words. 

Inclusive. What does that mean in friendship? 

When I am friends with anyone, or really when I first meet someone, my number one goal is always to make them feel included, wanted, accepted. 

Maybe its because I was created with this desire, or maybe it is because I am so aware of this in others, but when I am friends with someone, I want to be included into their life. 

Not just a tiny sliver of their life, but the ups, the downs: the good, the bad and the ugly.

The book of Ruth is the one of the most beautiful stories of friendship.

This story is about a widow, Naomi and her two widowed daughter in laws.

She is retuning to her homeland and urges her daughter in laws to return to theirs so they can find new husbands. Ruth, one of the daughters pleads with her to stay: 

 "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." (Ruth 1:16)

Thats kind of exactly how I define true friendship, not just the people you hang out with and pass time with, but those you do life with. The friend who says my friends are your friends,  invites you in on their adventures & most importantly encourages you to know God.

We are not meant to do life alone, we are created to connect with others. 

That brings me to Inquisitive. 

Inquisitive means to be curious, interested in knowing.

When I am truly friends with someone, their joys become my joys, their tears, mine.

When I have good news I can barely contain myself from sharing with those gem friends. 

A sign of true friendship is displayed when that friend inquires about my life in such a way that it is evident they are interested and that they care. 

Its easy to find people to have fun with, laugh with and enjoy life with, but finding those who invite you into their life and care deeply about your thoughts: those are hard to find. 

Invest in those people. 

When you invest in the right people, I promise you, you will aways walk away with more than you gave. 

broken reality

This week, darkness attempted to take joy from the world.

Again.

This happens a lot doesn't it?

The evil in this world is shocking, heartbreaking and truly unbelievable.

The only way to look past the brokeness is to cling to the hope that true life is coming.

Pastor Al from Reality Church in Boston said something beautiful:

"We were not made for such atrocities. In such darkness, the church—the people, not an

edifice—are made to shine as a city set upon a hill, and as a lamp in a dark moment.

As we mourn this moment, we do so with a hope that a Kingdom is arriving—a

Kingdom that will right all wrongs, and turn all our sorrows into dancing. Until then,

we look for ways to help others grieve with a hope beyond themselves."

http://www.realityboston.com/city-wide-prayer-a-message-from-pastor-al/

I have no idea how people can look past brokeness without Jesus in their hearts.

The only hope I can cling too when tragedy strikes is knowing John 16:33

“I have spoken these things to you so that you shall have peace in me. You shall have suffering in the world, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” ...

No matter how awful the world becomes, I know that My God has conquered it all. 

Darkness may fight to steal that victory but it simply can not win.

A wise woman shared this with my friend and I think it speaks great truth about Mondays horrific incident. 

"The devil may have moments in a day, but our Lord will always have His way."

While I will never understand this darkness, or the future darkness to come, I don't have to because I know that God is still winning, by infinitely more.

Scatterbrained

I should probably just rename this blog to adventures of a scattered brained leader trying to make difference.

Thats me in a nut shell.

I met up with two of my young life girls last thursday and was barely speaking full sentences. I had had two midterms that day and two too many cups of coffee. I was a literal definition of a "hot mess" and you know what? We had a great time. Thats what I am learning more and more each day. I may get the title of leader but I am really just a follower, of Jesus. Thank God for that. I am so utterly imperfect and flawed I cant even begin to explain, yet still God allows me to hang out with these girls and talk about Jesus to them. Each thursday night, after Biblestudy with these crazy girls, I walk away just in awe. How good is God!? Can I get an Amen?  It is an incredible honor to be trusted to do life with these students.  Sometimes during small group I have to just sit back and take it all in, I learn so much from these girls. Its hard to believe they're in high school sometimes.

The longer I lead, the more these girls trust me.

With trust comes..a whole lot of tricky questions and messy situations.

I used to think that I had to know all the answers, I was terrified of not knowing.

I learned now that I was ridiculous to think I could ever really know even .00001% of stuff.

There is something really freeing about not knowing the right answers, being able to admit to your failures. We weren't made to know it all. I think we were made to know one thing: Jesus and clinging to him for all other knowledge. So thats what I am doing. Clinging so hard in hopes that He will answer every question that comes my way.

Life is messy.

Today: I am embracing the mud.

Lists.

I am a scheduler. 

I like lists, any kind: all of them. 

-To Do 

-Shopping

-Homework

-Timelines

-Goal Lists

-List of lists --> check.

I make lists of who to call, where to go, even what to read. 

I have a pretty short but seemingly scary  list going now, of things I NEED to do.

1. Get a job for my internship class- ASAP.

2. Find a house for August.

Two things I have been working very hard to accomplish with no such luck. 

Not having control of life is one of the most difficult and beautiful problems to have. 

While I have no idea what I am doing, or living for that matter, right now it doesn't matter.

Because ...

" God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." 

[Ecclesiastes 3:11]

This week I am learning to let go of my lists and focus on the day at hand. 

I am confident God will take care of me and my needs so I am just going to rest in that. 

 Ill be sure to let you know this all works out.

Gods timing>my timing

Gods plans> my plans

He>i

Comparison is a thief of joy

I was challenged and encouraged by Sundays sermon at Rock Harbor church.
This isn't my home church, but If I lived closer i would definitely be a regular attender.
The message came from Acts 8.
It's the story where Philip meets the Ethiopian man on the road and shares the hope of Jesus and then baptizes the man.
What I find to be encouraging was the fact that Philip was not extraordinarily gifted.
He was not one of the 12 disciples.
He most likely never even met Jesus.
So I already can relate.
The Holy Spirit prompts him to talk to the man, who is in a chariot, so Philip is running beside the chariot. Talk about a crazy man. ( seems much easier to strike up a convo with the student net to me)
"God speaks. man obeys. Something beautiful happens."
Isn't that the truth!
Now I don't know how loudly God spoke to Philip, but the passage shares nothing about flames, loud noises or huge displays. I have a feeling Jesus whispered to Philip, like he whispers to me and you. Philip just had more courage than me.
As a Christian, Jesus gives us access to all of him
So why am I not also obeying every nudging of my heart.
I often make excuses:
I am shy
I am not a good speaker
I have school
I am not smart enough
But what does that matter if all of Jesus is in me?
The truth is God doesn't need anyone to do his work, not the most famous Christians and not the ordinary ones like me.
But God uses us anyways.
& when we listen to him
Life is beautiful.

#younglifeleader

I found this list on Twitter and the irony made me laugh.

#youknowyourayounglifeleaderwhen ...

here are my favorites

@Sjemiolo

#youmigtbeayounglifeleader if you regularly schedule things at random times besides club and campaigners- Dinner @ 5:42pm?

@jaquinnmarie

You might be a @YoungLifeLeader if you hear a funny story and say, "that would be great for a talk!"

@priscilla_chap

If you're 23 and you catch yourself using highschool lingo in everyday conversation, you might be a @YoungLifeLeader.

@Ashley_thebeast

If you're blowing all your money on coffee dates with highschoolers, you might be a @YoungLifeLeader

I love how I can meet a random leader in any city in the country and we can laugh about the same little things - because we all experience them.

When I signed up for leadership training three years ago I had no idea what I was getting my self into.

I joined to have an impact in the lives of others, but as it normally works out I am the one being changed every day through these students.

They challenge my faith. 

&& Encourage my heart.

My Monday nights are filled with capture the flag, eating contests and lots of chick-fil-a

My Thursdays- full of homemade food, worship and small group discussions

I cant think of a better way to do life than with the community I have found here. 

Thats whats on my heart today.

Feeling especially blessed. 

because Your love is sweeter than life.

I've heard that verse a lot in my life.

Growing up your stereotypical Christian family, I know a lot of verses in my head.

But when I heard it in church yesterday, I finally grasped it in my heart.

Christ loves me (and YOU) unmeasurably.

Forever, and loves us as we are.

He redeems us.

Renews us.

His love is truly sweeter than life. 

Why?

It's simply really.

Because what is life without his love?

I would be literally nothing. 

No soul.

No Joy.

No purpose.

Because everything good comes from God. (James 1:17)

Its moments like this where I am getting totally stoked on life and on Christ and want to get everyone around me excited. I am a YoungLife leader and find myself in these circumstances often.

We will be reading a passage and here i am shaking the book and practically jumping out my seat trying to get these girls stoked, on Jesus. I get 5 blank stares back at me, they think i'm crazy- whats new? What i have been realizing is that what i have known and heard my whole life actually is the best new ever. I am finding myself finally grasping a small, minuscule percentage of the greatness. 

& I am stoked on it. 

...

Kingdom Moments are everywhere.

Especially in the ordinary. 

thats all.

but really just a small part.

(Ps.63)

on a side note.

"Photography to me is catching a moment which is passing, and which is true." - Jaques-Henti Lartique

I've always thought that pictures illustrate life in a way words never could.

Clearly

Lively

&

Lovely

With the technology of today I find myself capturing the silliest of memories, the least important moments to many, but to me, that is life. 

Life is simply a large strung out collage of little moments that define us. 

Each one unique.

I could tell you about my run on sunset cliffs - with the calm deep blue ocean and the orange, pink and yellow sky combining into one larger than life painting - or I could show you. 

While my pictures can not express all my feelings- they tend to do a better job than my words. 

Words get mixed up. 

Lost in translation. 

Taken the wrong way.

A picture is what it is. 

By looking through my hundreds of photos, you get a pretty get snapshot of me. 

I may be 500 miles away from them, but my family means the world to me. 

My friends? Bring out the best in me.

&& my life?

well it would be completely pointless without a Perfect God.

I think you get the picture. 

Following

I attended a number of seminars today at a leadership conference.
One was on following.
At a LEADERship conference.
I realize that this concept is largely ignored.

I spent two summers working at a camp.
We were encouraged to find our roles, and be leaders, but most of all follow.
Our director would often call us out when we were getting too leader-y.
"Too many Chiefs, not enough indians!"
That's a common theme in the classroom...in the workplace...in life.
Standing up for what you believe in is crucial, and having integrity- undeniably important.

Dont get me wrong, I'm all about leadership.

But there is something to be said about empowering other to lead, and then following them.
There is so much unreached potential in our communities.
Today I am inspired to be a leader by following others, learning from their great ideas
&
Most of all,
Celebrating who they are.