The end of Senior Year has brought about many different emotions, a lot of which I have never felt before. If you too are graduating, you may be right there with me. The last year has been filled with faculty, adults, even family asking me what I am doing after graduation, will I be able to support myself, what is the longevity of your choice? All done in love, and out of concern for my well being I'm sure. But that doesn't make the questions any less stressful. I made the choice to go into ministry upon graduation, last August, and now, just one month away from the big day. I can answer no more of the questions than I could 10 months ago.
Will I be able to live off this- likely no, that's why people have two jobs.
Is there longevity- I'm not sure. - I hope so!
Am I sure this is the best option for me? - In what way? God called me to it, so Gods plan wins. Always.
I have found myself trapped in this swirling headache trying to figure out my life. Was going into ministry worth this headache?
In the midst of this headache I still say Yes. one hundred times yes.
I sat down, completely discouraged tonight and started praying. For answers, for encouragement, for reassurance that God had me where He wanted me.
It was almost as if God was waiting for me tonight. He knew I was going to finally stop stressing for 3 minutes and actually talk to him about this. The verses "I have made you, I will sustain you...For man does not live on bread alone..." Came to mind. I felt the whisper of "When have I ever forsaken you, child?" speak to my heart. I love these moments, where God nurtures my heart and answers my fears with his kindness. I spoke about the Resurrection at Young Life tonight and how it renews our lives, and can attest that Christ renews my spirit daily.
With 24 days until graduation- I don't have it figured out. & yes the very human me is nervous about what is to come. However, I can sleep soundly tonight knowing that my God is with me, and fills me up daily with His love. I think God knew I didn't have time to work out this month, so he gave me the kind of exercise I can fit into my schedule whether I like it or not: trust exercises.
No comments:
Post a Comment