Scatterbrained

I should probably just rename this blog to adventures of a scattered brained leader trying to make difference.

Thats me in a nut shell.

I met up with two of my young life girls last thursday and was barely speaking full sentences. I had had two midterms that day and two too many cups of coffee. I was a literal definition of a "hot mess" and you know what? We had a great time. Thats what I am learning more and more each day. I may get the title of leader but I am really just a follower, of Jesus. Thank God for that. I am so utterly imperfect and flawed I cant even begin to explain, yet still God allows me to hang out with these girls and talk about Jesus to them. Each thursday night, after Biblestudy with these crazy girls, I walk away just in awe. How good is God!? Can I get an Amen?  It is an incredible honor to be trusted to do life with these students.  Sometimes during small group I have to just sit back and take it all in, I learn so much from these girls. Its hard to believe they're in high school sometimes.

The longer I lead, the more these girls trust me.

With trust comes..a whole lot of tricky questions and messy situations.

I used to think that I had to know all the answers, I was terrified of not knowing.

I learned now that I was ridiculous to think I could ever really know even .00001% of stuff.

There is something really freeing about not knowing the right answers, being able to admit to your failures. We weren't made to know it all. I think we were made to know one thing: Jesus and clinging to him for all other knowledge. So thats what I am doing. Clinging so hard in hopes that He will answer every question that comes my way.

Life is messy.

Today: I am embracing the mud.